Happy Cinco De Mayo!
Unhappily Married, Happily Divorced
Cinco De Mayo has a special place in my heart. It is the day I was divorced.
May 5, 2004.
Eleven years later, it’s a time to reflect on the lessons learned and the great sense of freedom that divorce awarded me.
The legal aspects of marriage was broken. I was breaking the bad habit of abuse and saving myself and my children. What good is a mother whose husband yells at her constantly? He’s angry….she’s broken….and the kids suffer.
I planned a divorce for two years. I documented every waking moment. If it was a book to be read, u could find it in the subject marked “Tragedy.”
Even though marriage was the hardest part of living for me, divorce was hard in its own way as well. It’s a changing of lifestyle. It’s starting over again. But those are all elements we can adapt and overcome with time. I’ll never fully recover from my marriage.
I think the biggest factor is who you are divorcing. This was my biggest hurdle. I broke the legal ties my spouse held over me, but that didn’t stop the manipulation and control. I see the same situation with my best friend who recently divorced.
He asks her how much money she makes. (Not his business)
He asks who she is seeing. (Not his business)
He walks into her house like he owns it.
Been there done that.
And it is still just as rude as it was when I went thru it.
I’ve seen spouses divorce amicably. Sitting together with one lawyer, laughing and enjoying their decision together.
I am enjoying my decision. I reflect heavily on the sense of freedom I gained within and the wonderful life I have upheld.
The lesson I learned was that I will never get married again. I am not cut for it. I don’t like that feeling of being trapped. I love my freedom. I also like knowing that I am saving money. I hear it’s much more costly to get divorced nowadays!
We all make mistakes.
Marriage is a mistake I will never make again.