Eat. Pray. Love
My Eat, Pray, Love.
I had seen the movie but was not profoundly touched by it. Eh, was my reaction. Fast forward months…..and I sit with a broken heart, desperate for peace. I found the book by Elizabeth Gilbert on clearance for $2, I bought it and finished it in one day. I couldn’t put it down. Funny how you can read something when you’re clouded by a different perspective and it mad inspires you.
Off to Thailand, I go.
Foods are different there. Seafood with crustaceous shells and wiggly fins are their specialty. I saw something that was still alive when it was brought to my dinner table. I’m not sure what it was, and although I didn’t steer from my distaste for the aquatic menu, I did try new foods with Pork and Chicken. I didn’t gain weight like Ms. Gilbert did but rather lost 9. My Eat wasn’t about indulging in myself but rather controlling it. I didn’t have the temptations of Hot Head Burrito and Flyers Pizza to deter me. I stuck to the basic and it rewarded me. I felt very proud of myself.
Predominately Buddhist. I was so thrilled to be in a culture who’s spiritual influence was so far from my own environment. Studying a semester of Eastern Religions, I fell in love with Buddhism and Hinduism. I could find something to relate to all religions I learned about but the Middle Way and all the Gods empowered me. I was not torn with This Way or That Way righteousness but grasped a whole concept of acceptance. I chanted their prayers, I kneeled and bowed my head, I clasped my hands and accepted this way and welcomed whatever should come my way. At the Thao Maha Brahma Temple in Bangkok, I was told to ask for my wishes to the four-faced Brahma…..and given incense and flowers, I asked for my children’s happiness and success in Life. I then Traveled to the Ganesha Shrine, and chanted the prayers and offered gifts to influence me to overcome what obstacles come my way and to hope for success in my own Life. Next to the Ganesha Shrine, is the Trimurti Shine, the God of Love. I was told that going on Thursday around 2100-2130 would be the prime time to go for meeting your potential mate. My love prayers were not really for a mate to love, but rather to Love myself.
I was presented the opportunity to go to a funeral. I did not know the family but was told I could attened. Monks chanted, I sat with my hands in prayer taking it all in. The grandfather passed on and had read a long time ago in The Tibetan Book of the Dead that Monks will pray over three days to ensure the soul of the dead passes on to the next life. Three monks sit and chant. I kneel at an altar, bow three times. I kneel at the altar of the grandfather, given insense, bow in respect and offer a prayer to the grandfather to make it safely in the next life.
It makes me think of my own grandfather, wondering where his soul ended up. The thought of his charming essence thriving in the world makes me happy.
Heartbreak is a bitch! This one is taking its sweet time to allow me to find some sort of solace. I am void of any recognition that I was ever a person who cherished my own sense of self. I didn’t come to Thailand to find a love, but to no longer wallow in the love I feel I have lost. I want to start in any small way to love myself. After my prayers at the Trimurti Shrine, my ex texted me. It wasn’t the first that we had spoken since our breakup, but it was the coincidence of the moment. After my prayers…..thousands and thousands of miles away……and now in this moment, I hear from him. I gasped to my friend.
“It was the gods!” She exclaimed.
All reason to doubt floods my mind. But I am throwing logic out and just smiling. And smiling was my first step of enjoying myself in this moment.
Thailand was without any doubt, my Eat, Pray, Love. I did all three. I enjoyed the new foods I ate, the new spirituality and the love of every moment that I will cherish forever. My trip of a lifetime.
And I can’t wait to go back.